if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
