He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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