I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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