Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
