called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
