She's JV to your varsity
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
