It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
