No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
