It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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