Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
