He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
im holly from the hills drunk
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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