i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize