I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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