Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
