If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
so let's talk penis.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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