You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
operation harelip BJ is a go
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
