ugly people sure do ruin things
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
