i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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