I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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