This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
