Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
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Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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