Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
