Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
