but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
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He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
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Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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