They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
