Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
