It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
