So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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