After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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