K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize