Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
