I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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