on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
