then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
