just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
