You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
