your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You're like the curious george of whores
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
