So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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