do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
