i jhust puked up my retainher.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
