i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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