guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
