First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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