Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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