Your tits are I can't wait for
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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