I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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