just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
