Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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