do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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