wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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