i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
