peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
