I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
