this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
