why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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