That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
