I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I can't trust your balls anymore.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
