You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
